It's been awhile, I know. . . .
Fairly treacherous week. . . .
Funny thing is, I had 3 instances that kind of screwed me in the head a little, eh, make that a lot. . . .
1. Somebody whom I have a child with acted as if I was stalking her. First of all, Keith Evans doesn't stalk anyone, not even corn. Shit, I barely show that much concern for people I'm actually "with", let alone, wasting my fucking time to "stalk" her. Apparently, stopping by to see my child randomly is not on the menu for decent parenting I guess. And though she apologized, I can't get the sound of her ridiculous accusation out of my ear. Word to the public; STALKING IS BENEATH ME! I am not a woman. I have better things to do. This is the last I'll say about this situation
2. Some chic basically tried to explain to me that as much as I claim that she's dramatic and ignorant, the truth is that I'm dramatic. Now apparently this is based on the fact that I get worked up when she gets unnecessarily dramatic, weird, uncharacteristically standoff-ish, and/or says things that have no basic element of intelligence. Anyone who knows me knows that I despise dumb ass shit. I tried very hard (and still trying) to hold on to the recently revamped "Nice Keith" and simply said I would just shut up and ignore it when I feel like she's bombarding me with her "girl" like behavior. Perhaps me even mentioning this now is in direct violation of my "solution". . . . well, this isn't even to her, it's to everyone else. Do you remember the term "Don't start none, won't be none"? I do. I damn near live my entire life by it. With that being said, I think it's safe to assume that according to that formula, if one starts some, there will be some. It's basic math. This is the last I'll say about THIS situation.
3. An individual I hold dear and close to my heart kind of just vanished from my existence. Ironically enough, it happened precisely after I expressed something that I probably should've just kept to myself. This hurts my heart, slightly on the same level May 17th hurts my heart. (side note, as I started that last sentence, Open Arms by Journey started to play on my media player. . .I hate poetic moments) I don't necessarily regret saying what I said, because it was the truth, and I feel like I've held that in for a little bit too long. I do, however, feel like maybe I "fucked" up. I rarely feel that way, for those who know me. This will probably NOT be the last I'll say about THIS situation.
No matter what "Keith" I am, it seems to never be enough, or in other situations, too much. So is the life for someone who is kind of "the shit".
I digress. . . . . .
Picture this.
1983. I'm 5 years old. After having a bunch of adults stare at me for weeks while I amaze them with my Professor X like intellect, thus granting me a spot in the mutant academy they call the Gifted and Talented Program, I enter my first day of kindergarten. School would eventually be my chosen battlefield for tomfoolery and pre-pubescent "chicken hawking".
I distinctly remember the first 2 "chickens" I met. Angela Pool and Ragen Hatcher.
Angela Pool, who now, is just as hot, if not hotter than I personally thought she was in high school, was the mean girl. Intimidatingly tall, and face full of menacing cynicism.
But alas, she was not the leader of the two.
The leader? A light skinned, skinny girl with HUGE, almost handicap like glasses named Ragen Hatcher.
We eventually became friends through out our elementary years.
Random childhood memory; I got a report card, you know, one of those paper mache' thin colored ones with the S's and the R's. In the comment section, one of my teachers literally wrote "Keith is a great child, however he is not reaching his full potential. Spends too much time talking to Ragen Hatcher".
In grammar school society, we were slightly on the same level. Her dad was the Mayor of Gary. My mom was the vice president of the PTA. I won't even get started on the perks. . . . . . .
Fast forward to high school. Due to my own personal views of life at that point, and my ever running mouth, I wasn't as well liked as when I was king of Banneker school.
Ragen, however, was nestled nicely in the "elite". I wouldn't label her a "Heather" or anything. Let's just say she had a certain swagger (ew, I just used that word) about her that generally only dudes rocked. I'm not at all saying she was a lesbian. Far from it actually. There was something sexy as hell about a cute, light skinned girl, with no use for a weave, dressed like Allen Iverson everyday.
If I remember correctly, Ragen didn't like me too much in high school. But in her defense, I was kind of a pest. I was pretty much a younger version of me now, sans the clever banter and witty retorts.
Fast forward to now. After multiple degrees, becoming a lawyer for the Gary Community School Corp., and a member of the Gary Common Council,
Ragen Hatcher is running for Mayor of Gary. . . . .
. . . .uhm, wait, sorry let me rephrase. . . .
Ragen Hatcher is "
looking to see if running for Mayor is a viable option".
For those who were not in the G/T program, that means she's running for Mayor.
When I went the Ragen For Gary Meet & Greet, it was pretty fucking surreal.
Here I am, at the Barbara Leek Wesson Center, approximately 17 years after I received my first blow job ever in the parking lot of this very building. Ah the memories.
In walks mayoral hopeful Ragen Hatcher.
Her corn rows replaced with long and bouncy strands of what, I can only assume, is the result of wearing corn rows all your life. Her baby blue North Carolina garb, now replaced with a very "political" Hillary Clinton pants suit. Her body, still amazingly "high school" thin after birthing three children. If I were a girl, I would be inclined to hate on her, but alas, I lost my vagina in the War on Terrorism.
She sees me, and immediately acknowledges my existence. I swoon, but opt to play it cool. then I realize something. She's a politician, and we all know politicians give you same kind of attention strippers give you. The fact that Ragen is a woman makes this even more awkward.
She lightly scolds me about my smoking habits. I consider this slightly hypocritical seeing as she was sporting an Obama bumper sticker when she pulled in. There's 3 things I do that can be considered presidential; owning a Blackberry, being a well spoken black guy adored by whites worldwide, and smoking Newports.
There was a moment, when she noticed I was in attendance, that she said to Qiana Kimbrough-Valentine "Did you see Keith Evans?". Qiana did not speak. Must've read the Facebook edition of my blog.
My favorite Ragen Hatcher friend, Erica Ross (Qualls), was also there. I'm a big fan of people who don't lose their sense of humor when they grow up. Erica For Gary!!!! Oh wait, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I very much appreciated that Ragen just talked like a 31 year old version of the girl I knew from school. What was actually weird, but good I suppose, is that I felt that she was more in "political mode" during her individual conversations. When she spoke, it was more down to earth and surprisingly "bullshit" free. Granted that could change, it was a nice breath of fresh air.
It seems that the
4 Main Issues Of Interests of Ragen's "would be" campaign are;
1.) Public Safety
2.) Community Development
3.) Economic Development
4.) Education
4 things I believe anybody who resides in, has ever lived in, or is even aware of Gary, Indiana, would agree with.
Her method of approach seemed to present the message that the politics practiced by the "current administration (or as a friend of mine labels him "Chops") are no longer effective.
For those who were NOT in the G/T Program, that means that Rudy Clay's leadership is about as efficacious and fruitful as his Huggy Bear demeanor. I mean, let's be real, sometimes, I look at pictures of Rudy Clay and I feel like I might've fell out a time machine.
Mrs. Hatcher-(insert married name here, I don't keep up with that shit) appeared focused, honest (as far as politicians go) and clearly prepared for any questions thrown her way.
Someone asked the whereabouts of 25 million dollars that was suppose to be given to the city from HUD. Hatcher's summarized response was that the city inevitably lost the money to Cleveland, Ohio due to Gary's current "lack of leadership. To this, I silently resolved that in such a case, Gary should get LeBron for a year.
In what I assess as an obvious sign of leadership, at a certain point, a woman began to rant, ending her harangue with the statement "I believe Ragen Hatcher should be and WILL be our mayor." Before this woman could finish this statement, Ragen started her own eventual applause. Now THAT'S a leader.
In what I assess as a "bad decision", during her explanation of examples of cities that have dug themselves from ashes of their own fall, Ragen made a reference to Newark, New Jersey. To this, I silently imagined a Gary version of the reality show Jersey Shore. I wouldn't even want to meet THAT Snooki.
I stand by my theory that George W. Bush's biggest advantage in his campaign was obviously the fact that his father was President. I also stand by my theory that Barack Obama's biggest advantage in HIS campaign was that the majority were simply fed up with and jaded by the (at that time) current administration. I ultimately stand by my theory that those two factors are what will inevitably be the biggest advantages to Ragen's campaign. I mean, we can say that Hatcher would become mayor based on the issues, which I believe she would also have the edge in as well, but let's be totally honest, it's gonna come down to the voter's thought of familiarity with the name Hatcher AND the fact that Rudy Clay pretty much sucks ass.
Just like I could say that I would vote for Ragen because of her stance on this or her views on that, when fundamentally, I would vote for Ragen because she is
Ragen Hatcher and that's my homie.
. . . oh, speaking of women in power. . . . .
Stacey Dash
Stacey Lauretta Dash was born in 1966, which means she is 44 years old. Wait, I don't think you get it. . . .
This is 44 year old Stacey Dash. . . . .
You remember Clueless. Hell, you remember Mo' Money. No, I'll do you one better, . . . I remember Illegal In Blue. . . . . . . . .
Stacey Dash (in "Illegal in Blue") - Watch today’s top amazing videos here
I remember this Bronx bombshell causing me alot of "sleepless" nights my junior year in high school.
Stacey was definitely one of the Fresh Prince's hottest "all-star cameo" girlfriends, hands down. Stacey is probably still the hottest 28 year old chic ever to play one of the hottest high school chics in a movie ever.
4 years ago, at the tender age of 40, Dash out shined a very large percentage of the 20 somethings that have posed for Playboy by posing herself. Most women could only slit their own wrists to the idea that they could look at 25 how Stacey looks at 44.
If you asked me what female celebrities I'd suspect owned a vial of water from the Fountain of Youth, I can think of 2 people off the top of my head. Diane Lane (anybody who knows me knows I LOOOOVE some Diane Lane) and Stacey Dash. This (and the fact that my bestest of female friends nominated her) is why Stacey Dash is this edition's Vagina Hero, enjoy. . . . .
